The DMV

Since getting married, I have had the frustrating and painstaking wonderful opportunity to visit the DMV more than a few times.  My kind husband has toughed each of these trips out right along with me, and while sitting in folding chairs, staring at the painted white cement walls, and desperately willing the two very unhappy looking employees to call our number, we came up with a few ideas to make the entire experience more enjoyable.  You're welcome federal government, you're welcome.

1) Turn the entire experience into an episode of Big Brother.  Create alliances.  Vote people out.  The winner never has to come to the DMV again.  The loser has to come back tomorrow.

2) Turn waiting into a bingo game.  Provide door prizes and a fun, flamboyantly gay host.

3) Add a nice, flat screen TV.

4) Turn the waiting room into a mini golf course, complete with windmills and dinosaurs.

5) Make the next person to be helped sing karaoke.  Even better if they're totally awful.

6) Two words.  Open bar.  (Then I'm sure people would be more than happy to let you go ahead of them in line.)

7) Choose the next number out of a hat.  You might be next or in 50 people, but at least you'll be captivated!

8) Provide free coffee and WiFi.

9) Make the employees wear costumes.

10) Bring in puppies.

11) Hire celebrity look-alikes to sit in the chairs in sunglasses and baseball caps so people can gawk and try to discreetly snap photos.

12) Give away a free vacation to every 500th customer.

13) Provide free shaves for the men and manicures for the women.

14) Give the employees some sort of incentive to smile and help as many people as possible each day.

15) Hire Zumba instructors to teach classes in the waiting area.  Not sure whether participating or watching would be more entertaining.

16) Host trivia games complete with music and video clip questions.  Most creative team name gets to skip two spots in line.

17) Allow any person waiting to try to beat the DMV employee in helping a customer.  Anyone who does gets to take home an hour of his or her pay.

18) Allow waiters to place bets on how long everyone in line will take to be helped.  Pay out double if they are missing paperwork or a money order.

19) Screen upcoming movie releases and provide free popcorn.

20) Have twin DMV employees dress alike and regularly switch places.  The first person to notice wins an ice cream sundae.

Any other suggestions??